The Call of Marriage - 03/17/2024
(This week's reflection is by Nicole Melchi of Sacred Heart Counseling)
“Marriage is the call to give oneself to one’s spouse as fully as Christ gave himself to the Church.” (USCCB: Love & Life in the Divine Plan) We are nearing Christ's passion and Christ makes clear the purpose of the cross. He will soon experience torture, ridicule, humiliation, and betrayal. Despite his grave suffering, he chooses the way of the cross for us.
Christ calls us to love others as he loves us.
One significant way he does this is through the sacrament of marriage. What crosses must we endure in our vocation to marriage, and how do we respond to them? Love is self-sacrificing and as St. Thomas Aquinas so poignantly says, "love is to will the good of another." In marriage, there will be many crosses, and this is the sacrament at work. As a couple, we are to share in the cross together, grow in virtue, and suffer with Christ. This is the purpose of the sacrament to bring us closer in union with him.
To turn to Christ in our vocation as a married couple, we must give ourselves completely to our spouse. In this, we give up our autonomy, that which is uniquely ours, and choose to do so freely. "Unless the wheat grain falls on the ground and dies, it remains only a single grain; but if it dies, it yields a rich harvest." In marriage, we must die to ourselves as well as to this world.
Our human brokenness is found in this life and world, neither of which we were made for. To die to self is to live for Christ, with Christ, and through Christ. Marriage is one of the many ways Christ calls us to serve him. It is easy to get caught up in focusing on our spouse which is not other-oriented. What "we" find frustrating about our spouse, what "we" think about how they live, and what "we" need or want often can become our focal point. This is our human nature, however, Christ wants us to look to him, even in these little moments in marriage.
Many times, it is the littlest of things where he calls us most often to practice our virtues in marriage. Accept his invitation to turn to him at such times. The opportunity to imitate Christ is present in the many struggles and difficulties that we find in marriage. Christ draws us closer when we share our gratitude for the graces that he will bestow upon us when we surrender to his will through accepting our crosses. This is where we find Christ and where a husband and wife are purified. It is here that we learn humility, patience, and the opportunity to choose love. Self-forgetful and self-sacrificing love reveals itself when we embrace our crosses in marriage.
Here we lay down our worldly lives, in faith, that we will one day be unified with him in eternal life.